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The Bizarre Travels of Nekhas: Volume 1
...The book looks roughly bound by some yarn. Its signatures are also glued by some hardened, perhaps once viscous, blue substance to the spine in an almost slipshod manner, though the handwriting on the yellow pages looks neat in contrast. On the cloth-bound front cover are large words written in black: The Bizarre Travels of Nekhas: Volume 1, by Nekhas. Overall, this doesn't look like something worth 100 quid... The following are some notable extracts from the otherwise lengthy book... Journeys in Mirthweald A shady place, Mirthweald is the fief of King Wilrondil, which is some distance from Valeria. To describe this place, I borrow the wisdom of Master Isqalluna, "The shade is a blessing of darkness, for what comes forth from this womb of shadow is what makes this world abundant with life". Good for finding stuff, but still ultimately weird. The place promotes Leporidaean Procreation, but it lies in the realm of Valeria, where these kinds of shameless things are considered blasphemy (viz. a one way ticket to becoming the Queen's personal eunuch). And yet! This supposed wonderland of Leporidaean fantasies mysteriously conforms to what the Valerians think to be correct! There can be only one answer - which can be quite simply deduced from what Master Isqallunah said... I repeat once again: "The shade is a blessing of darkness, for what comes forth from this womb of shadow is what makes this world abundant with life." Voyage to The Isles of Vendelaans A troublesome and potentially creepy place. Has a number of nice plants there, especially the Golden Tree, but the villagers wouldn't let me go near it even though I said that I just wanted to whistle a song to the tree (some kind of weird ritual) and make a prayer. A friendly and helpfully frank villager told me to stop because he said that if I did that, I would have to burn myself alive after I whistled my song, as part of the ritual. Then, when I asked if I could play my rainstick (something that works like a maraca) instead, the feller told me that percussive instruments don't count. I then tried to ask if I could borrow an instrument instead, but none of them (including the helpful villager) wanted to lend me their lute... Really a troublesome bunch of fellers, those villagers. But seriously, if you're going as far as to say that I'll have to burn myself (since I'm the instrument) if I were to whistle to the Tree, I think its quite unfair. Think about it, if you play an ocarina to the Tree, strictly following the rules of the isle's rites, you'd not only have to burn your ocarina, but also your mouth, your lungs and your diaphragm - because, without these organs, you wouldn't be able to play the instrument in the first place! The same thing goes for a lute or lyre - you'd have to burn your fingers because those phalanges are also part of the instrument! If you didn't strum the thing with your hands, you wouldn't be able to play your song! Here's what I think: The Vendelaans Islanders are either extremely fussy, or are desperately trying to hide their rituals of human sacrifice under the guise of being an innocent and loving island community that believes in wish-granting faeries. Category: Books